As I sit to share this message with you, I am aware of how strange it might seem to have someone who offers readings for a living to suggest that maybe you do not need one, however…maybe you don’t. 

Readings offer healing, understanding and can bring insight to situations and relationships.  Readings are meaningful and fun.  They should leave you feeling validated, seen and uplifted.  But, there are times when this may not be the outcome, and it has nothing to do with the reading or the reader.  You just might not be in a space to receive or something else might be a better solution for you.

Types of Readings

Psychic readings are all about you, what is coming up and what has been.  The reader intuitively receives the information and shares it with you as statements, not leading questions. 

Mediumship is when the messages come from Spirit.  This means that it is their perception, voice and experience.  They may share aspects of their life, some parts that you may not have experienced with them.  The medium is not sharing their insight, only the evidence message that Spirit is offering.

This distinction is important, as many do not know the difference when they go for a reading, and sadly, some readers do not know where their information is coming from either. 

Times when maybe a reading is not right for you…

1. You have a desired outcome.

When you are not open to possibilities outside of your awareness, a reading is not what you need, nor is it fair to the reader to put that expectation on them.  This can happen when you are in a situation where a decision needs to be made, but you do not want to be the one to make it.  Consciously or not, you are looking to make a change or choice but do not want the responsibility of the hurt that can come from it or you want someone to blame in case things do not go your way.  This is not as callous as it sounds, but rather human defence mechanisms at work. 

Some of the examples that I have witnessed of this is when a decision has to be made for making a life of death decision for a loved one; to leave or stay in a relationship; or exposing a deception like infidelity. 

During these times, if you can be open to a reading that can offer you insight but not be your decision maker, a reading can help you feel supported or even give you other alternatives that you had not thought of.  Otherwise, coaching is a great option for you.  A good coach will listen to your concerns, offer solutions and ideas that you can choose or not, and hold you accountable to own your life. 

2. You are seeking a medical diagnosis or some other professional validation.

Mediums, Healers and Psychics could very well pick up on a medical, legal or professional imbalance and even have ideas for healing or resolution.  However, they are not trained or certified in these areas and could be in breach of liability when they offer that insight without disclosure.  You are always best to see the professional that is best for pain point or need.  You would not have your financial investor contact Grandma in Spirit, so why would you expect your psychic to fix the foundation in your home?  The purpose of a reading or healing is never to hand over your power.  We are just the messengers, conduits or space holders.  You are responsible for your healing.

3. You are in a space of anger or blame.

Regardless of where we are in life, we are responsible for the energy that we bring to a space, conversation or relationship.  Anger closes doors and windows to opportunity and insight.  A question that I always ask before a reading begins is “are you open to any outcome or is there anything that is off limits for you?”  In most cases, people come excited and ready for whatever may come.  However sometimes, someone may only want to hear from a specific Spirit, or due to pain want someone to blame or take out their pain on.  They are not evil people or mean, they are wounded.  That pain is not an excuse for projection or aggressive behaviour though. 

Personally, I have only experienced this twice.  Once was about 10 years ago when a Mom was coming through and my client was still angry with her Mom for past events.  I ended the reading after about 10 minutes as Spirit offered lots of evidence and it was clear that the sitter was closed off.  She quickly apologized and asked me to continue, explaining that she wanted to hear from someone else.  I declined.  Mediums do not choose who comes through, and we do not even have the capacity to do so.  We can set intentions and even requests, but there is no direct line.

The second occasion was quite recently.  The sitter came in lovely, and when I asked the question if anything was off limits, she quickly shared that the last reading had brought through a relative that she did not want to hear from.  We had the discussion about being open and she insisted that she was open, even if that Spirit came through again.  She shared that she actually expected that they would.  Sure enough, they did.  This client quickly turned aggressive, sharing that she could understand the message but felt powerless in the situation.  As the aggression became more concerning around safety, I offered a refund and ended the reading to move the client from the space and attempt to deescalate.  Never should a reading place anyone in a hostile situation or put safety at risk. 

The solution that was offered in this last situation was grief counselling.  Not coaching, as coaching is for people who are in a space for change or movement forward, just wanting help.  This client needed professional support.  That is not a criticism of this individual.  We all have struggles.  I would not want to be judged for my worst day, and this person did not deserve judgement either. 

4. You don’t have any dead people.

Mediumship is not psychic work.  If you do not know your Spirit people or do not want to learn about them, attending a platform demonstration could be a beautiful opportunity for you to witness evidence and the power of a message from the Spirit, however a one on one reading will leave you disappointed.  If you do not drive, it would not make sense to buy a car.  The same goes for readings.  You could also ask specifically for a psychic reading, which will set the tone for a positive experience.

A really fun opportunity is if you do not know your family and you are open to learning about them, have a reading with a curious heart and mind.  You can take the information from the reading and validate it through records and conversation, which helps you learn more about yourself too.  I have seen beautiful stories of unknown adoptions coming to light and family reunited.  And of closure to mysterious circumstances or deeper understanding of why a loved one behaved the way that they did.

5. You just want to “test” the medium or psychic

I will admit, watching the transformation of a skeptic to a believer is an incredible thing.  I do Mediumship to demonstrate life after life, so for me, it is like validating why I do what I do.  However, testing someone or coming in closed off is still an exchange of energy.  Imagine that you are feeling joyful and want to share that joy.  You smile at someone and say hello, and they insult you in return.  Imagine how you feel after, and then the energy that they are left to share with the next person.

As professionals, we “know” that it is not our stuff and shake it off, when trained to do so.  For me, my background is education and social work.  I have worked with plenty of cranky people those previous professions, and usually am pretty good at a “care bear stare” in return.  Most readers are not professionally trained to do that.  Regardless, everyone has feelings.  Setting an intention of unkindness or deception is just not good juju.

What you can do instead is go to a few different mediumship events and sit in observation, ask questions or even book the reading and share “I don’t know if I believe but I am open to what comes up.”  That is a huge energy shift from “watch me prove this guy/girl is a fake.”

We are all having experiences in this lifetime.  Some positive and some for learning.  My hope is that you will all have the opportunity to experience the healing and the beauty of a connection with Spirit.  I wish you the opportunity of the fun and insight of a psychic reading.  And mostly, that you remember you are the magic, that you are intuitive and able to connect.

Love, Sam xoxo